I’m not really sure how to write this. I think I mostly just need a place to orga­nize my thoughts. Some­thing hap­pened today (which I’d really rather not talk about) that made me real­ize that I need to make dras­tic changes to my life. Am I crazy? I’m prob­a­bly going to sound like I am, but here it is: I’m going to be apply­ing to sev­eral top end art schools around the coun­try over the next few months. If I get accepted to one of them, we’re going to find some way, any way, for me to attend. No, I don’t know how I’m going to get there, and no, I don’t know how we’re going to afford it. I know it’s going to be hard, but it’s some­thing I have to do.

More than any­thing, I think I’m wor­ried about my fam­ily and most of all my father. The clos­est school I’d be apply­ing to is in New York, and it’s not at the top of my list. I don’t know how he’d react to me being so far away. Maybe I’m wor­ry­ing over noth­ing, but I keep think­ing about when he told me he needs me. I know I can’t let that keep me from doing what is nec­ces­sary for me to suc­ceed. There are no oppor­tu­ni­ties for me here, so I have to seek them elsewhere.